


Operation #FreeMurdoc

by CandidCanine



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Basically Stu trying to flirt with Murdoc long-distance over a series of poorly worded letters, Copious Amounts of Fluff, Journal Entries, M/M, Murdoc being hella salty that Stu gets to have fun without him, Newspaper Articles, Noodle and Russel being really tired of these two dorks, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Text Messages, and Ace being straight up clueless, epistolary fic, group chat shenanigans, kinda canon compliant?, the now now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-10-30 07:04:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17824151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandidCanine/pseuds/CandidCanine
Summary: What would've  happened if 2D had kept in touch with Murdoc during his time in prison in Phase Five, instead of ignoring him?Answer: tears, unintentional flirting, piss-poor attempts at making each other jealous, not-so-subtle references in song lyrics, and maybe a chance to repair a dysfunctional relationship.aka, a tooth-rotting fluffy 2doc fic told in a hilarious series of messages, letters, newspaper articles and group chat hijinks.





	1. #CheerUpStu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A disastrous aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please **turn on Creator's Style** before you read this for maximum enjoyment of the fic :D

   

**Gorillaz bassist arrested in Detroit home; possible deportation imminent**

_July 21, 2017_

 

_Detroit, MI_ \- Murdoc Niccals, 51, the bassist of world-renowned, multiplatinum-selling, alternative band Gorillaz, shocked the music industry last Tuesday night (July 18) when he was arrested for unknown charges in his Detroit-based headquarters and studios. Further investigation by various news organizations has uncovered that Niccals had been released from the custody of state police and has been waiting in a legal limbo with US immigration officials since yesterday afternoon.

Current reports from insiders indicate a high probability of Niccals being deported back to the UK, his home country, after careful deliberation of his criminal charges. Niccals' possible offenses have not been made known to the wider public as of yet, but crimes punishable by immediate deportation in the US may be severe enough to warrant  harsh prison sentences in the UK. Murdoc Niccals has not released an official statement nor communicated with any media sources during and after his arrest. Niccals' three fellow bandmates have declined to comment on this recent development. 

All information guaranteed accurate at the time of this article's posting.

 

—article taken from _ Detroit Metro Times_

 

* * *

   

Russel ( · _ · )  
  
Did you read the article I just sent you?  
  
yup  
  
Okay, how the heck are we supposed to address this??? We've got journalists from every tabloid breathing down our necks!!  :/  
  
you'd think that several years of knowing this green cracker ass would be enough for these media nutheads to stop acting so damn surprised when he fucks up  
  
IKR? It's so weird! It's not even the first time he's got himself arrested? Why are they so rabid this time??  :?  
  
i think its because he got himself deported. "allegedly." have you heard any of the rumors flying around? its fucking nuts. I heard someone on the radio say he punched a judge in the face during his court hearing  
  
Yeah, well... that DOES sound like something Murdoc would do :/  
  
its exactly what murdoc would do, noods. and you know what else murdoc would do? drugs. im willing to bet my entire life savings on that idiot being arrested for possession. you know how he is  
  
Same... if that's the case, he could be in jail for a while.   
  
But what if he's in there for life? What if it's not just drug possession?  
  
dont make me hope for something impossible. hes a crafty bastard, he ll think of something to worm his way out sooner or later  
  
No, I mean, I'm worried about something else.  
  
Or rather, someone else. :(  
  
He'll go mad without Murdoc around. If Murdoc's going to be in jail for longer than a year, who knows what'll happen to him??  
  
let me guess. 2ds who youre talking about  
  
Yep.  
  
shit youre right. how is he now?  
  
Not so hot. Haven't seen him come out of his room since tuesday. I'm starting to get worried about him.  
  
saw him yesterday. he looked like a mess. couldnt stop muttering to himself and writing in that diary of his  
  
:O Journal!   
  
?  
  
He gets real touchy if you call his journal a diary. Remember? Murdoc made fun of him two weeks ago for writing in it. Now he gets all defensive when you mention the word "diary" to him.  
  
oookay.  
  
anyways. god those two are a fucking mess. cant even understand how they got together in the first place when theyre like this  
  
Do they still think we don't know about them? They're not exactly subtle >_<  
  
well when we're talking about these morons you can never tell. they just got together like what, 2 or 3 months ago? maybe theyre still so stupidly in love that they havent realized that theyre choking everyone else with their sappiness.  
  
did you know i caught them kissing on the sofa when I got home last week? now i know what its like to see muds stick his nasty tongue into 2ds mouth. thankfully i sneaked upstairs before they noticed me  
  
god I wanted to scrub my eyes out then and there  
  
Ewwwwww. X(  
  
Actually...I just hope Murdoc comes home soon. As refreshing as it is not smelling Muds' stink in the house or seeing two people who're like your family snogging like preteens, it sucks seeing Stu like this.  
  
hate to admit this... but i agree. i hate seeing d like this. but what can we do? it isnt like we can just break muds outta jail.  
  
Well, we still don't know why Murdoc got himself arrested. We'll just have to sit tight and hope he didn't do anything stupid to warrant himself a life sentence! As for 2D... I don't know. Maybe getting him to talk to us should be a start? 

* * *

 

Dear ~~Diary~~ Journal,

 

Day ~~twenty-four? five~~? twenty-something without Murdoc. I'm completely worn out having to hide the fact that I'm utterly miserable without him around. Noods and Russ might start getting suspicious. I really want to tell them I miss Murdoc but what're they going to think when they find out about my feelings for him? What if they find out about our relationship?? They'll talk, that's for sure. Murdoc is going to kill me if I tell them. We've been so careful for the past few months. I'm not gonna ruin it now.

I just wish I'd hear news about him soon. Or maybe the reason he might be going to jail in the first place. Been watching the telly and reading all the articles I could find, but no luck so far. Maybe if I knew, I could put my old law degree to good use and actually get him out of there early. Then this whole nightmare would be over. But I don't think Russ and Noods would approve of that. We still have things to take care of.

~~I want him to come back now~~   ~~what if he gets tired of me out in prison~~   ~~maybe he'll change his mind when he gets back~~ I'll try to keep my cool like I've been doing so I won't worry Noodle and Russel. Keep it chilly. I owe them that at least.

 

Stuart  
  
---  
  
* * *

       

NOODLEZ  
  
Hey Stu!!  
  
Hey  
  
Haven't seen you in a while. Everything alright? :(   
  
Yeah.  
  
You sure?  
  
Yeah. Why?  
  
Okay then. Just wanted to check in with you after seeing some news on Murdoc.  
  
News? What happened to him??  
  
Oh uh....  
  
Nevermind, nothing happened. Forget I said anything.  
  
Wait what happened to Muds?   
  
Not like I care or anything, just wanted to know.   
  
It's nothing, just continue what you're doing! :3   
  
Noodle show me!  
  
Wait I'll check it myself.

* * *

   

**Murdoc Niccals SENTENCED to life in prison for DRUG-RELATED charges?**

_October 2, 2017_

 

_London, UK-_ Murdoc Niccals, bassist of the popular band behind smash-hit albums Demon Days and Plastic Beach, Gorillaz, has allegedly been sentenced to life in prison for possession, distribution, and smuggling of Class A drugs; namely methamphetamines. The 51-year-old musician will be sent to the Wormwood Scrubs prison, a maximum-security prison compound in London, UK, to serve the life sentence for his crime.

This news had come to light during a press conference with Mr. Niccals, attended by several major news outlets. Niccals claimed to have pleaded not guilty to the drug charges and will now be filing an appeal for his sentence. The former Gorillaz bassist has recently reiterated his own perceived innocence during an interview shortly before he was escorted into the prison compound.

"It's such a shame, really," Niccals had observed. "A great injustice. Anyone with a clear conscience and the right judgement would know I've been framed for these crimes. Instead I've been [expletive] hard by the legal system."

 

—excerpt taken from  _express.co.uk_

 

* * *

     

Russel ( · _ · )  
  
Russ help!!! <:((   
  
im getting groceries. what happened?  
  
I might have just broken the news about Murdoc to 2D in the worst way possible ;-; He's really upset what do I do???  
  
i thought you said you were going to secretly console him?  
  
wait. he didn't know about murdoc did he?   
  
No! He didn't!! I thought he checked up on Murdoc daily but I guess not??? He found the worst possible tabloid site covering the whole mess and now he's in shock :'( I tried going over to his room but he won't come out no matter what I tell him!!  
  
just what I needed. more drama.   
  
im getting too old for this shit  
  
:'((((  
  
dont worry about it too much noodle. its not your fault.  
  
heres what we'll do. you keep trying to talk to him. meanwhile ill go back to the house, and when I get there ill unlock 2d's room using the master keys if he still hasnt gone out of the room.    
  
lets try getting him to reach out to murdoc in prison. 2d CLEARLY needs some contact with Muds for some reason and i think hes getting into some kind of 'withdrawal' without that asshole around. lets try telling him to send a letter or something.  
  
but DONT say anything about us knowing whats going on with him and Muds just yet, he might have a meltdown if you do   
  
OK, let's go with this plan! I don't really have any better ideas :(

* * *

  

Stuey \\(＾▽＾)/  
  
**Today** 4:10 pm  
Hi 2D!  
  
Hello? :O  
  
**Today** 5:33 pm   
Are you mad at me?  
  
I'm sorry me and Russ tried to unlock your door without asking you :(  
  
It's alright. I just needed to clear my head, that's all. You two didn't need to get all worried about me. Why were you and Russel so worked up over me not leaving my room?  
No reason! I just thought you'd be upset because we won't be able to practice our setlist properly with Murdoc gone for some time :( we're still finishing off the last leg of our tour, remember?  
  
Er  
  
Yeah  
  
That's exactly why I needed to clear my head.  
  
I'm good now. It's no big deal anymore.  
  
Oh, good! But you'll think over what me and Russel told you right? :D   
  
Sure. I think it's a good idea.   
  
Go do it! You agree, right? I think Murdoc could use a little update on what we're doing here without him. We're allowed to send letters to him anyway!  
  
We need to let Murdoc know any plans we have for the band. You send a message to Murdoc telling him that we're continuing the tour without him.  
  
 But he knows we're already doing the tour without him?  
  
Yeah, but now we're going to get a permanent replacement bassist! >:3  
  
Oh.

* * *

    

~~Dear Murdoc~~ Hey ~~Muds,~~ Murdoc,

 

How've you been doing over there? Hope you're ~~having a great time~~ not suffering too much in prison. ~~It's been real peaceful around here without you.~~  I think I miss talking to you on the daily. It's a bit too quiet around here without you blasting your music 24/7 or you yelling about some bloke who ticked you off every single day. ~~I miss the days when I could hold you in my arms and watch you sleep~~. We still have to finish up the Humanz tour, but then after that... I don't know. Maybe we'll go on another hiatus. ~~I really want to see you.~~   ~~I'll wait for you~~  We can't wait for you to come back, so in the meantime we'll have to ~~replace you~~ find someone who could do your job as well as you do. 

 

~~Love you,~~   ~~Yours,~~  Hope you get out,

~~your bluebird~~ ~~Stuey~~ ~~Stuart~~   2D.

~~fuck~~.

* * *

    

note to self: rewrite letter

 

* * *

      

**160 Du Cane Rd, White City, London, W12 0AN, UK**

**HR Wormwood Scrubs Prison**

**Inmate #24602, P.O. Box #XXX**

 Hey Murdoc,

It's me, 2D. How've you been doing over there in prison? Hope you're not suffering too badly. I haven't seen you in ages. Still can't believe you've been gone for almost two whole months. Last time I saw you, you were on the local news channel, in handcuffs and being escorted into some aeroplane going across the pond.  Haven't heard anything about you at all since you touched down in the UK. Well, 'cept you being jailed and all. I guess it can be hard to keep in touch when you spend all your time in a maximum-security prison cell.

We're still knee-deep in the US leg of the Humanz tour. It's been hard without you, but we're managing well I think. I don't know how long it's going to last. I don't know how long you're going to be in prison too.  We've still got a lot on our plate and we need a bassist so... sorry, Muds. We have to find a new person to fill in for you.

It's kind of quiet here without you. It's lonely having no one to talk to on the daily. Hope you come back soon so we can all play music together. We all miss you.

Anyways. Yeah. It's me, 2D by the way. Just wanted to check in with you. See if you're doing alright.

Regards,

2D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next: a pissed off Murdoc, and an equally pissed off 2D? Maybe the arrival of a new player in the field and some group chat hijinks? Stay tuned for the next episode of Operation:#FreeMurdoc XD
> 
> I apologize to Noodle for not being able to add her beloved emojis :'( why you no support emojis, AO3? ~~And also please take some time to enjoy this format, guys, it took blood, sweat and tears to code it~~
> 
> Find me crying about 2doc on tumblr @[2dorkandmrpickles](https://2dorkandmrpickles.tumblr.com)


	2. #PissOffMurdoc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Passive-aggressive letters are a great way to let your loved ones know how you're feeling.

 

 

  **220 Hendrie St., Detroit, MI 48202**

**"Spirit House"**

**P.O. Box #XXXXXX**

 

Dullard,

As much as I appreciate your valiant yet laughably pitiful attempts to  console me, I must stop your query then and there to kindly say: mind your own sodding business. Don't you think being imprisoned is torture enough without you rubbing my lack of freedom in my face? I'm not a moron like you, Dents, I can read between the lines. 

You can cut it out, now. You're about as subtle as me when I'm trying to hide how plastered I am on Friday nights. You lie like a decomposing corpse in a casket and your bullshit smells just as bad. Like HELL do any of you miss me. You're probably off throwing parties, aren't you? No need to soften the blow, just come out and tell me you want to replace me instead of beating around the bush like this. Y'know, it's only another swift kick to my balls after everything that's happened to me.

But you're wrong if you think I'm taking this lying down. Far from it, Stu. You may think that my place of imprisonment is a horrible, inhumane environment completely unsuitable for a man of my calibre. And you'd be correct. But I'm not a squealing baby in their nappies who needs someone checking up on them from time to time.

Stop assuming that I'm completely fucking miserable. I'm not. And I'm perfectly content without knowing what you lot are up to. Despite what you think there are better things here to occupy my time than answering letters from an ingrate who doesn't think twice about replacing a key member of their band. You're a big boy now, no need to ask for my blessing to go out and find a new bassist. I couldn't care any less.

Murdoc

 

P.S. Who in Satan's fiery Hell are you trying to fool by being so formal? "Regards", my arse.  I know what you're like. I bet you got your last letter proofread by Russel. No wonder it bored me to tears halfway through reading it.

* * *

   

 

~~Murdoc~~ ,

~~I didn't mean~~  

~~I know that you think we left you for dead but~~

~~I don't understand why you think we're celebrating your arrest~~

~~Will you stop thinking the worst about me, I thought we left this behind when~~

  ~~You~~

~~Why the fuck are you like this.~~

~~Regards,~~

~~2D~~

 

 

note to self: rewrite this letter

* * *

  

 

**160 Du Cane Rd, White City, London, W12 0AN, UK**

**HR Wormwood Scrubs Prison**

**Inmate #24602, P.O. Box #XXX**

 

Murdoc,

Why'd you have to be so mean? I just wanted to know how you're doing.  We haven't heard a peep from you ever since you got arrested and we were wondering what you were going through over there. We didn't know if something bad had happened to you on the way to prison. All we had for clues were stupid news articles that weren't any help. Is it wrong to ask what you've been up to these past two and a half months?

It came as a real shock to us when you got arrested for your crimes. Honest. I hadn't meant to rub it in your face or anything. I mean, if I really wanted to rub it in I'd say I'm glad you got caught before you really fucked things up for everyone else too. But I know better so I won't say anything like that. I know about your "lack of freedom" so I've been trying to be sensitive.

 You always have to think the worst of other people. I never said you were miserable, I just thought that, y'know, you might be having a bad time since it's prison and all. It's perfectly logical to assume that you've been suffering. 

And I swear we're not trying to replace you. It's just that, we're on a world tour without a bassist. Kind of hard to practise our setlist or perform concerts without one. And we need someone permanent. Someone who'd stick around to actually learn it. It's annoying having to re-teach things. We've been relying on some dodgy guys Russel pays off to be our temporary bassists but Noodle's concerned that one of them might run off with our money someday. Plus, they all suck.

I'm not asking you for permission, I'm telling you so you don't get a shock when you figure out we've found someone to fill in for you in the meantime. Be glad I even told you in the first place, Noods and Russ didn't even think we should tell you. Stop making fun of me for wanting to say something to you when I'm not obligated to do that in the first place.

~~Regards,~~

2D

 

P.S. I'll have you know that Russel's never seen that letter. It was Noodle who helped me out, actually, thank you very much. And what's wrong with being a little formal? It's a bit awkward talking to you again after everything that happened. Considering our relationship, that is.

* * *

  

 

**220 Hendrie St., Detroit, MI 48202**

**"Spirit House"**

**P.O. Box #XXXXXX**

 

Faceache,

Once again, your lack of understanding leaves me completely dumbstruck. I'd sooner sell my shriveled-up liver on the black market than believe anything you have to say now. You wrote that last letter specifically to fuck with me, didn't you? Where do I even begin:

One, you're not convincing. In the slightest. Worse, you have the same amount of empathy as that prat of a judge who got me thrown in jail in the first place. If any of you were actually concerned by what happened to me, you'd be hauling your arses straight over to London stat and helping me file an appeal for my sentence. Instead, I got crickets, so I had to go ahead and do it myself. And now, I'm hearing from you that while I'm behind bars, you have the audacity to continue the tour without telling me? And hire another bassist? There's only one outcome for that: unmitigated disaster. Why don't you try to help me out before going ahead with your poorly executed Plan B? Spare a thought for someone who's performed with you for nearly twenty goddamn years.

Two, did you HAVE to preface your first letter by saying that you "hope I'm not suffering too badly"? Did you? I know you've always been a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but Satan did I want to fly back to Detroit to personally flip you off the moment I read that. There's a a line between being utterly dense and being outright cruel, but you might be the first person to ever be both in the span of two hundred words.  Word to the wise, dear, thickheaded Stu, you don't come out and say that as a form of greeting. Ever. I'm not even going to nitpick your fuckups in your second letter because I'm going to burst a vein if I have to reread them again.

And three, since when have you ever learned the meaning of "logical"? The thought makes me laugh so hard I think I'm going to piss myself. You wouldn't know what "logical" was if it hit you upside the head. If you have even the tiniest bit of common sense, you'd be careful about mentioning anything concerning my current status in prison. You have the subtlety of a fucking bulldozer.

You didn't even think for a moment to ask what my side of the story is. It's apparent from the two letters you sent me that you think I'm guilty, don't even try to deny it. You're just like the rest of the wankers involved in my arrest. But since I don't care that you didn't ask and I'm feeling especially open about my feelings today, I'll tell you what really happened to me. I was framed. That's why I'm not passively accepting this life sentence like any of the other times I've been convicted. I'd tell you the details, but I doubt they're even going to sink in that tiny pea brain of yours since you have an attention span of a gnat. That's a story for another letter.

By the way, it's interesting how a few months can get you to start acting like we're total strangers. Your letters are so perfunctory and clinical. As if you're trying to expend the barest minimum effort to show you care. Well, two can play that game.

~~Sincerely~~ (Not) Yours,

Inmate #24602, one and only bassist of Gorillaz, a.k.a. the man you left for dead and who's now wasting the rest of his life in prison while you go off in search of his replacement

 

P.S. I knew you were making one of them read over your letters. Thanks for confirming that, you twit. Aren't you too old to be asking someone to help you write something?? Do you make her read your diary too? Grow the fuck up, Stuart.

P.P.S. Are you some kind of blushing virgin? No one else is reading these letters but me. There shouldn't be any awkwardness BECAUSE of our relationship. Why do you have to make everything so weird?

* * *

    

 

**160 Du Cane Rd, White City, London, W12 0AN, UK**

**HR Wormwood Scrubs Prison**

**Inmate #24602, P.O. Box #XXX**

 

Murdoc,

I just can't do anything right in your eyes, can I? I try to ask you how you're doing, you get mad at me for being curious. I try to be sensitive, and you go ahead and make fun of me. I try to apologise, and you're still not happy! I'm so confused, do you care about us getting a new bassist or not? Are you miserable or not? What do you want from me?!

My hands are tied. The world doesn't stop turning just because you're behind bars. We've got responsibilities, and we can't take care of them because you're in jail. Did you ever think about us, too? We're going mad constantly avoiding the paps and answering questions 'bout you when we know next to nothing. We've been bombarded with uncomfortable questions since you disappeared. That's on top of finishing the tour, mind you. Excuse us if we wanted to ease the burden a bit by getting another bassist.

There's not a lot of ways to sugarcoat the fact that you're in prison and we can't do a thing about it. Of course we can't just drop everything to go help you. You always tell me to think of the fans. What would they say if we cancelled the first tour we've done in ages just to help you out when it was your fault that you're in prison in the first place? Stop thinking that Gorillaz would fall apart without you. And before you say anything, yes. I don't believe you were framed. C'mon, Murdoc, you've told more interesting lies than this. This isn't even your first time in prison, think of something else.

And, "perfunctory"? "Clinical"? I might've not known what those words meant but I've got a dictionary in my room, Muds. I know how to look words up. I'm far from being perfunctory or clinical. You do realise that I've told you that I was the only one who bothered to contact you right? Why would I go through the trouble of mailing letters to another country when I can just do what everyone else did and move on with my life? 

That's right. It's because I wanted to, you ninny. And I'm having second thoughts as to whether that was a good idea.

(In)Sincerely ~~Yours~~ ,

~~2D~~ Stuart, vocalist and keyboardist of Gorillaz, a.k.a. someone who cares about you but is really getting tired of your bullshit.

 

P.S. It's not a diary, it's a journal you bastard. How many times am I going to have to remind you?

P.P.S. Well it's not exactly public that we're dating right? We haven't even told Noodle and Russel that we're together. 'Course I'm going to be cautious.

* * *

   

 

**220 Hendrie St., Detroit, MI 48202**

**"Spirit House"**

**P.O. Box #XXXXXX**

 

Dents,

And the truth finally comes out. Just caught you in your  own web of lies you slippery, cunning, deceitful spider. I KNEW Noodle and Russel didn't miss me. I KNEW you wouldn't believe me. How can you say that you even care when you won't believe a word I say? Let me spell it out for you again: I'M INNOCENT. I WAS FRAMED. Try asking me for the whole story first before throwing me to the wolves, OK?

Fine, you know what? Go ahead. Get another bassist. See if he's as good of a band leader as I am while you're at it. Why don't you find out how well that'd turn out? Fucking peachy, you'll think at first, but wait till you get your rude awakening. I reserve the right to laugh in your face when you make fools of yourselves in front of the whole world.

And Gorillaz is MY band, Dents. The band's never lasted long when I'm not there and that's not going to change anytime soon. Face it. You need me. You're completely hopeless without me around. The band would completely fall apart without me to prop it up. 

This is getting fucking exhausting and we're going nowhere with these letters. We're just repeating the same things ad nauseum. Stop trying to defend yourself and own up already. I don't have time to read novellas about your excuses for why you haven't helped me out. Keep it short if you don't have anything worthwhile to say.

Murdoc

 

P.S. Keep telling yourself that. If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks like a duck...   it's a fucking diary, get over it. Stop throwing a fit over the littlest things.

P.P.S. I'm going to stop you there and correct a little misconception of yours. We're fuck buddies. Not boyfriends. Never been anything but. And it's none of Noodle and Russ' business so you better not be yapping to them about any of this. We're not supposed to treat each other any different  because of it. That's the whole point of the fucking relationship.

 

* * *

  

 

Dear Journal,

 

 I've had it.

I can't believe him. Murdoc is such a fucking prick. Is it normal to want to punch someone you fancy in the face? Because that's exactly what I feel after reading his letters. What does he want me to say?? "I'm sorry, let me just cancel this world tour we've been preparing for just to waste all my time breaking you out of prison???" On his word that he might be innocent????As if Noodle and Russel would let me do that. They'd have my head on a plate. And I'm not that gullible too.

But he doesn't want to budge.

Christ. Who's the one throwing a fit here again?

I'll show him. I'm gonna find someone 1000X better than him, and he won't have the balls to say  ~~I~~ we can't do anything without him around. Can't wait to see him crawling back with egg on his face once he figures out exactly how unneeded he is.

~~Why'd he have to go ahead and break my~~

~~I thought we were~~

 

Stuart

   
  
---  
  
* * *

  

 

 

Russel ( · _ · )  
  
so. how're the two fools doing? 2d just received murdoc's newest letter in the mail, right? so he should be pretty happy.  
  
I'm... not sure? 2D won't let me read any of Muds' letters. But he doesn't look that sad anymore though, thank goodness. :D You're right, maybe a little correspondence with Murdoc was enough to shake him out of his slump. I think it put a little life back into him, he even looks somewhat determined!  
  
It was a really good idea getting him to talk to Murdoc. Good thinking, Russ.  
  
it was no problem, noods.  
  
wait. speak of the devil. i just got a text from 2d   
  
What did he say ??   
  
hold on let me forward the text to you  
  
"Russ, let's go find our replacement bassist. I'm tired of not being able to practise without one. It's about time we get a new one. Also, can we schedule a band meeting ASAP? I think I might be onto some good ideas here"- 2d   
  
well this is a new development.  
  
:O Stu's been reluctant to find a replacement for Muds since he got arrested. What's changed? Maybe Murdoc talked some sense into him?  
  
maybe muds sweet talked stu into not worrying too much about him. if that's the case then we really have to thank muds. at least we don't have to see 2d moping around the house anymore  
  
I wonder what Muds said to Stu that got him to change his mind? I'm so curious now, I want to read Murdoc's letters to stu >_<   
  
trust me, you dont. theyre probably sappy love letters that no other human being should ever read.  
  
im more interested by 2ds request for a band meeting. he never initiates those. wonder what those good ideas of his are?

* * *

  

 

**160 Du Cane Rd, White City, London, W12 0AN, UK**

**HR Wormwood Scrubs Prison**

**Inmate #24602, P.O. Box #XXX**

 

Murdoc,

Fine. You want short? I'll keep it short.

You're going to regret saying I need you, you old man. Watch me. I'll show you how much better off Gorillaz is without you. I'll personally be the one to say "I told you so" when you come crawling back to us.

2D

 

P.S. This is war.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might've wanted to watch what you said there, Stu. Now look, you've gone and angered the insecure pickle.
> 
> And Muds, let up. The poor boy's a wreck and he's trying his best. You're confusing him. It's not helping xD


	3. #2DsRevenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2D finally unleashes his wrath.

 

**More Gorillaz coming your way this 2018**

_October 29, 2017_

_by AMW_

For all you Gorillaz fans like myself out there, hang onto your hats. If you loved their latest album and cry yourself to sleep wondering when our favorite kooky alt band will release their next exciting new project, then I've got the news for you: Gorillaz has just announced a new album to drop the following year! Say 'sayonara' to those nearly decade-long waits between new Gorillaz content, since we only have to wait a measly few months for the next full-length album to drop. The band first made the announcement two days prior via their Twitter page and through a few after-concert interviews with local news. Here's what the number one alternative music news site has to say about this (link to the original article at the bottom). 

 

“Hot off the heels of their killer fourth album Humanz, popular band Gorillaz announce a brand new album to be released in the summer of 2018.  The band has been on tour since April of this year, during which they have been secretly recording and writing ideas for their next project. Even the dilemma of a missing key band member (who also happens to be their leader) is not enough to prevent these powerhouses from delivering the content they believe their fans deserve.

 So far, the exact details of this album and its release has remained shrouded in secrecy.  When asked what would be the theme of the album, lead vocalist and keyboardist Stuart “2D” Pot had only one answer:

_‘It’s a bit simpler and more laid back than Humanz. Everything else is a secret. But one thing’s for sure, it’s gonna knock all your socks off. It’ll be our best album in years.’_

Fans are already waiting with bated breath for any new clues the band drops. But as Gorillaz is notorious for keeping its fans in the dark about any projects they are currently working on, it might be some time before we catch a glimpse of anything from this album[…]” – _AltPress Central_

 

That’s about everything you have to know regarding the new Gorillaz album. It’s not much, but what can you expect from the band who periodically disappears off the face of the planet for several years? But this is really surprising but wonderful news to me. Who’d have thought that Gorillaz was capable of releasing two albums back-to-back? I’m not complaining, though. Bring on the next year!

 Who else is stoked for their new album?! Sound off in the comments below!

—Post taken from _Alternative Music Watch (Blog)_

 

* * *

**Alternative Music Watch Forum**  

 Article: More Gorillaz coming your way this 2018

 Posts:87

 

**Posted by** ephemeralstyle  **on** 29 October 2017, 9:15 am

> Dude I’m so fucking pumped for this! Hell yeah!!! Someone hit the fast forward button on this shitstorm of a year and get us to 2018 ASAP

 

**Posted by** RhinestoneBeaches  **on** 29 October 2017, 9:22 am    

> They better not rush this project or else we’re gonna get another shitty album. The last one disappointed me

 

**Posted by** gorillazsuperfan12345  **on** 29 October 2017 9:38 am   

> @RhinestoneBeaches They had years to prepare for Humanz and if you still didn’t like it then what difference does it make if it takes less time to produce this one? Don’t be such an ungrateful fuck and give them the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure they’re going to do their best.

 

**Posted by** sonicdiversity **on** 29 October 2017,  9:42 am 

> @gorillazsuperfan12345 I second that. And it looks like they took notice of all the criticisms for Humanz and dialed it back a bit, according to 2D. Maybe this album’s a bit simpler. Though I have to agree with @RhinestoneBeaches that the last album was weak because it seemed overstuffed. I hope it’s going to be another killer album that takes Gorillaz back to its roots.

 

  **Posted by** bigbadbassist  **on** 29 October 2017, 10:10 am

> OMG what is this :’((( I love that theyre releasing a new album but what about muds??? hes still in prison!!! dont tell me theyre gonna keep using temporary bassists, its not the same! I want mudsy back :(((((((( 

 

  **Posted by** MonkeyzBand  **on** 29 October 2017, 10:18 am  

> @bigbadbassist Oh god not one of you murdoc fangirls again. Stop clogging this site with your dumbass posts.  Murdoc got arrested for a reason. Let that idiot stay in there for once so he stops being so fucking impulsive all the time. And of course they’re going to use temporary bassists theyre a band? They need one??? How tf do you expect them to make their music???
> 
> And besides this isn’t the first time that Murdoc got himself thrown in jail. Mark my words that asshole’s gonna be out of there next year, or the year after that. I wouldnt expect anything else.

 

**Posted by** psychedelicpsychosis **on** 29 October 2017, 10:32 am  

> Wonder what their new album's theme going to be though? Gorillaz always makes the best concept albums

 

**Posted by** superslowstarfish  **on** 29 October 2017, 10:45 am  

> @psychedelicpsychosis I've heard somewhere that this album could be a continuation of Humanz. Like a part two or something. Maybe we'll get a similar type of sound in this one? But we ARE talking about Gorillaz though. They're a bit unpredictable.

 

**Posted  by** 19and2000  **on** 29 October 2017, 10:51 am 

> anyone think that 2d's acting a bit strange in these recent interviews? no? just me? ok.

 

**Posted by** CandidCanine  **on** 29 October 2017, 11:03 am 

> Fuck y’all’s theories and comments, I just want to know who’s taking the lead for this new project because Murdoc’s off modeling orange jumpsuits. Hope the other band members get a bit more input on this one *cough* Russel *cough*. Though most likely it’d be 2D since Murdoc’s been a pain in his backside for God knows how long. It’s his time to shine now!

 

_**show next 10 posts**  _ ** >**

 

* * *

 

noods   
  
hey noods   
  
Russel you’re literally in the same room as I am, why are you texting me?   
  
because 2ds here too and i dont want to let him hear this conversation   
  
Don’t worry, 2D’s distracted by that new zombie series he discovered on Netflix. He hasn’t budged an inch since the first episode. Talk away :)   
  
im not so sure I want to risk it. speaking of 2d. there's something up with him again. hes acting real weird. even weirder than before. hes starting to creep me out   
  
i think you know what im getting at. i noticed it right after he called that emergency band meeting days ago. i didn’t even expect him to tell us he had a few ideas for our next project, let alone tell literally EVERY NEWS SOURCE he could contact that we would be releasing an album next year. without saying anything to us! did he finally go off the deep end? its october. we still dont have a bassist. not to mention were still on tour. what the hell does he expect us to do to meet the ridiculous deadline hes set?   
  
Oh, yeah. 2D’s been super busy because of that. I think I know why he’s started acting out? It might've started with that last letter of Murdoc’s. 0_0 2D hasn’t received any letters from Muds since he sent out his reply to that. I think his mood has something to do with it.   
  
I really thought that Murdoc managed to cheer Stu up but I think he’s done the exact opposite X(( 2D’s super moody all the time. I’m really worried. He’s started shutting himself in his room again. He tells me it’s to brainstorm on the next album but sometimes I hear him yelling and crying in his room XO Stu’s definitely not OK.   
  
thats real fucking weird because he acts like a different person in public. 2ds been completely insufferable to everyone ever since our last band meeting. even us   
  
im starting to regret going along with this idea of his. i get that hes the one writing most of the songs this time, but what right does he have to go and act so damn cocky? it sometimes feels like murdocs returned. 2ds been sauntering around and ordering the stagehands and crew members around like hes the queen of england. And you know how hes referred to himself as the “new band leader” several times to the media? he just told me a second ago how much better off the band would be if he was the permanent leader. the powers gone straight to his head. swear my jaw dropped so far down that it reached the earths core   
  
Oh wow. 2D’s been like that with me too, trying to order me around. But he gave up when I told him off. It's just so strange, he’s never tried that before. >:/   
  
im getting whiplash from all these mood swings of 2d  
  
I’ve been snooping around Stu's bedroom hoping to get a glimpse of Murdoc’s letters just to get to the bottom of it, but so far no dice. We’ll just have to wait and see. My best guess is that Muds must’ve broken up with Stu for some reason. I think 2D might be doing this to cope :(   
  
i don’t really give a flying fuck about their relationship. I just hope 2d knocks it off before we release the next album because I dont know how much more of this i could take

* * *

 

        **Transcript of Interview with Stuart “2D” Pot, by Top Radio Magazine UK**

**30/10/2017**

INTERVIEWER: Hello and welcome, Mr. Pot! Good to see you here. We’re happy that you took some time off your busy schedule to sit down and have a chat with us.

STUART POT: It’s really no problem. I love having a chat. And call me 2D, “Mr. Pot” reminds me of my dad.

INTERVIEWER: Alright then, 2D. How’re you? You’re heading off on the European leg of your tour two days from now, I hear.

STUART POT: That’s right! And I’m feeling stellar, thanks. Just woke up feeling very refreshed for some reason. I even thought it was a good enough day to get two cups of orange juice instead of my usual one. I drank them on the way here.

INTERVIEWER: It's nice to hear that! Life on the go seems to be going splendidly for you, I see. Is Gorillaz faring well with the tour so far? We've heard some testimonies from concert-goers and they say you've been doing a bangin' job so far.

STUART POT: [laughs] We've really got the best fans, mate. Yeah, we’re just about ready to wrap up this chapter in the Gorillaz history book. It's been fun while it lasted but I think we can move on to bigger and better things now. I think we've done all we can do with Humanz and we're all satisfied with how well it turned out.

INTERVIEWER: "Bigger and better"? Ooh, now you've caught my interest. Are those "bigger and better" things somehow connected to this new album that your band is rumoured to release next year?

STUART POT: It's not a rumour anymore, I just confirmed it a couple o' days ago. The album's real. It's coming, I can tell ya that.

INTERVIEWER: That's great. So many fans, including us here at Top Radio, were pleasantly surprised to hear this news. But one thing we’re all wondering: How long has this album been in the works? It’s rare that Gorillaz drops albums back-to-back. We’re all too used to the waiting game [laughs].

STUART POT: [chuckles] We love makin’ our fans wait. Heh, just kiddin’. Err... we haven’t been at it for very long. Maybe weeks at most. We’ve recently started on some tracks that I think would turn out pretty killer. We've mostly been working on it while on tour.

INTERVIEWER: Well, you’ve got a tight schedule ahead of you then. We’re all excited to see where your band’s going to go next in terms of your sound. Gorillaz has never let fans down when it comes to writing songs that are both lyrically and sonically creative. What should your fans expect to hear this time? Seeing as your band likes to play roulette sometimes with the music genres you incorporate into your songs.

STUART POT: I've added loads of personal touches to this album that really makes it stand out in the Gorillaz discography. I’ve personally written all of the lyrics to the songs in this album. I guess you could say that all of the songs had a single inspiration. I won’t say what inspired me but I’ll let the fans guess if they want to.

INTERVIEWER: Oooh. Care to give us a little hint on that, if you don’t want to say it outright?

STUART POT: OK, maybe just one. The idea came to me one day after I had an epiphany of sorts with this 'inspiration' of mine.  It made me realise that I’ve been wasting all my talent by just hanging back and letting other people take the glory. I’ve let them take credit for our past albums for too long. Not this time.

INTERVIEWER: Interesting, but not really much to work on. I'll still have a go though. So is it inspired by a personal rumination on—

STUART POT: No, it isn't. Nice try though. Anyways, moving on. Everything you see in this album is all thanks to what inspired me. ‘Cause without hi—it slapping me in the face with this realisation, it wouldn’t exist. So now I'm taking Gorillaz back to its roots and recognising the one thing that made this band great. That's me, by the way. In this next album, I’m gonna unleash all the genius in me that’s been held back in previous albums. This is gonna be my album, no one else has a bigger say on it than me.

INTERVIEWER: Uh, err, alright. But wait, wasn’t there an album that you made all by yourself, but was credited to the whole band? I don't think this is the first time you've got a say in what the band has released. The Fall—

STUART POT: Well, this one is gonna be better. For one, I didn't make it on a shoestring budget and there aren't any bastard bassists ruining the fun for me this time.

INTERVIEWER: [coughs and shuffles papers] Well, speaking of bassists, we here at Top Radio have a few questions for you. Have you heard any news about your bassist, Mr. Murdoc Niccals, while he's doing time in prison? Has he commented yet on this new album of yours? Or is he in the know?

STUART POT: No.

INTERVIEWER: No? To...all of them?

STUART POT: [inaudible] Yes. We've been casually keeping in touch with Murdoc since he was thrown in jail but we don't update him on what the band's up to. There's no need for that since he can't really do anything about it anyway. He'll find out sooner or later.

INTERVIEWER: Isn't that a bit disingenuous, not telling him or letting him have any input? Seems like he ought to know about what you're up to, at least. I mean, he is the band leader. It seems to me like you might be taking advantage of his absence. 

STUART POT: Hey, don't be a massive [censored]. We're not taking advantage of his absence, we've got a life beyond waiting for him to come 'round ya know. If we waited for him every time he gets in deep [censored] we wouldn't get anything done. And as long as he's in jail he's not the [censored] band leader of Gorillaz. How's he supposed to lead when he's behind bars?

INTERVIEWER: I—I'm sorry, Mr. 2D. I didn't mean to be presumptuous. There's no need for profanities. [coughs] May we just know then, who's in charge now? 

STUART POT: Me, obviously. Who else? I'm the one writing the album. And isn't it natural? Because I’m the vocalist and frontman, yeah? I should've been the band leader all this time.

INTERVIEWER: OK... err. That's... that makes sense I guess. Well, it's been nice having you here, 2D, but I'm afraid this is all the time we have for you today. We'll have to bid adieu for now, and hopefully welcome you back when you've released the next album. Again, this is Top Radio UK, and thanks so much for coming here.

STUART POT: Sure thing. Cheers!

 

* * *

 

 

gorillaz   
@gorillaz   
Calling all of our loyal fans! To those who don’t know yet, we have a new album in the works. Expect new stuff as early as February of next year. Stay tuned!  11:52 AM - 30 Oct 2017  1K  24.3K 

GORILLAZ OWNS MY ASS   
@MusicalMuse69420   
@gorillaz  GOD YES MY BODY IS READY 11:54 AM - 30 Oct 2017  20  147

Deep Sleeper  
@sl33p1ngp0wd3r   
@gorillaz The hype is real  12:02 PM - 30 Oct 2017  1 7

I saw gorillaz live   
@onetwodeethree   
@gorillaz  lol Murdoc got shafted big time 12:16 PM - 30 Oct 2017  2

Big Bad Bassist   
@bigbadbassist   
@gorillaz still miss the pickle man :( 12:19 PM - 30 Oct 2017  5  29

Murdoc Niccals   
@MurdocGorillaz   
@gorillaz  WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. 1:32 PM - 30 Oct 2017  347  7.2K 

* * *

Stuey \\(＾▽＾)/   
  
**Today** 1:54 PM  
2D!   
**Today** 3:12 PM  
I’m busy, Noodle. This better be good.   
Wow, really, 2D??? (҂⌣̀_⌣́)   
Nevermind. You and Russel are still looking for a replacement bassist right?   
Yeah. Most of them are pretty shit though, so we’re still in the middle of our search.   
I think I found a good one! His name is Ace Copular. I’ve watched him play the bass in some videos with his band and he’s really good. I think he’ll fit in well :D   
Why would a random bassist with some videos on Youtube be any better than any of the ones me and Russel find?   
Don’t underestimate me, Stu! Besides, he’s no ordinary guy. On top of having his own band, he’s actually a famous children’s show star too. Can’t remember the name of the show though. But he’s not just some guy playing in a garage :O   
And you know what? He’s pals with Murdoc too. I checked his Facebook accounts and saw his old photos with Murdoc. That’s how I knew he was perfect guy for the job. He might already know a thing or two about Gorillaz and want to help us out!   
He knows Murdoc? I dunno about this. What if he’s a cocky git like Murdoc? Birds of a feather, yanno. I don’t think it’ll be worth it if we get another massive pain in the arse like Muds.   
“Birds of a feather”? “Cocky git”? I’m sorry Stu but this is really ironic XD  
What? Why?   
It’s nothing. So what’s your final verdict then?   
I think it’s a hard pass from me. I don’t even need to see him to know I don’t want him around. Him being associated with Murdoc just gives off all the wrong signals. Me and Russ will keep looking. 

 

* * *

 

 

**220 Hendrie St., Detroit, MI 48202**

**"Spirit House"**

**P.O. Box #XXXXXX**

 

2D,

Well played, dullard. Well played.

…Is what I would say if you had your head screwed on right.

I was just having a nice chat with the warden and enjoying my martini in my cell when this whole stinking mess just blew up in my face. A new album?! Was this what you meant by Gorillaz being much better off? Is this your pathetic attempt at retribution? If it wasn’t happening to my own band I’d be laughing myself to pieces right now. All you’re doing is driving Gorillaz into a corner. We both know you’ve only started working on this album a week ago. And you’ve got the balls to tell everyone that they have something to look forward to in a couple of months? Nice grave you dug there, Dents. Hope you like laying in it.

And how’s the search for the new bassist going? Terribly, I assume, because you still haven’t found anyone who could be my replacement for more than a couple of shows. Don’t lie to me, I’ve seen videos of you on tour. You're still with that sweaty bloke from who-knows-where who looks like he hasn't showered in weeks. He plays like he's got a stick up his arse and can't be bothered with putting on a halfway decent show. I wasn’t lying when I said you won’t get anyone good enough to fill my shoes. Face it, no one's got as much stage presence as I do. Just give up already. You’re making it painful to watch for everyone. Especially for me, since I’ve got nothing to occupy my time than to see you run MY band into the ground.

Murdoc

* * *

 

 

~~Dear Murdoc: Sod off, you old goth. Mind your own business~~  

* * *

NOODLEZ  
  
Hey Noodle.   
  
Yeah? Do you need anything?   
  
Could you send over the number of that Copular bloke? I changed my mind. 

* * *

 

 

Unknown Number  
  
Hello. Is this Ace Copular?  
  
Whos asking.   
  
This is Stuart Pot. From Gorillaz. Am I talking to Ace? You’re a friend of Murdoc Niccals right?   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh man this chapter took the wind out of me 0_0 sorry for the wait, you guys! Hope you enjoyed this segment of a very (outwardly) self-assured Stuart and a very confused Murdoc. Next chapter, we'll be back with our regularly scheduled banter starring our two favorite dorks, plus a very special guest appearance from our favorite bassist. No, the other one XD


End file.
